Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts

Almost.....end of first semester

9.24.2014
Well.. it is not an entirely exciting or thrilling phase to be in, that is, in the last remaining weeks of the first semester of my first year in medical school.

Although I have managed to (surprisingly) increase my Physiology grade by 4 (huge) points, and my Anatomy by 2 (meager) points, I totally let my grade in Biochemistry go down the drain. The worse part was that I made a conscious decision to set aside studying for the Biochem 2nd Long Exam just to finish the series finale of.........The Pretty Little Liars. I know, I am quite the pathetic kind. :( I never thought I would regret this, seriously! I was well aware that my grade would go down as a consequence of not studying for this subject (which happens to be the first year subject where most students fail) but I never really expected to regret it this much! I feel gravely disappointed with myself because I was already in such a safe place and then I dug my own hole.

I think the downside of having six long examinations is that students (like me) think there are five more chances, in my case, four (long examinations ahead) to pull grades up. The upside however, is that we actually do have more opportunities to (painstakingly) pass! Taking more long examinations and observing cumulative grade-point system are considerably advantageous especially for students who are still adjusting to the load of work in med school.

Honestly..as much as I am anxious about pulling my grade up, I am actually not that fearful of not being able to do so because..I believe I can. Naks! haha hashtag panindigan. Looking at my performance during our first Biochem long exam, I actually did okay. I did more than pass. Hence, I just need to use that confidence I had during the first long exam to pump my spirits up and never give up on studying dephosphorylation of HMG-CoA reductase...addition of 3rd molecule of Acetyl CoA to Acetoacetyl CoA (obviously, our current topic is Cholesterol Metab lol).

As what I have been told by my idol, Dr. Emil Aligui, "Kapit lang." 

And kapit I will.



Quick post

6.19.2014
I have been meaning to write a post about my first week in Med School but, I never imagined that I would never have the time to even open a webpage in my netbook!

And since I should be doing advanced reading tonight on Epithelial Glands which were all too simple in undergrad and the extreme opposite of what it is now in Medicine, I will share some things through bullet points. :s

  • I only accessed the internet because 1) I needed to encode my personal info in the online google drive document for class, and more importantly, 2) I had to email the Editor of a Philippine journal I used to work for.
  • I have had two terrible headaches from listening to classes this week. My official first week in Med School. And it was caused by not doing advanced reading. 
  • During the first and the second day of classes, I was contemplating whether I would continue this course because it is really, really, really hard to the nth level. Hard is an understatement, I think. I thought thesis was hard!
  • My newly purchased Biochem book was stained with either coffee or yakult and I really really hated the feeling of knowing this and seeing this! I mean I have only opened that book twice! I am OC when it comes to books.
  • It's now 11:06, and I only have 54 make that 53 now, minutes, to do advanced reading (on only 1 topic, sadly).
  • I am proud that I have not been late in class since the second day and that I now wake up at 5.30 or 6 am compared to 10 or 11 am, sometimes even at 12 nn when I was working.
  • And yes, I was fortunate to be awarded the scholarship, for a year. I need to maintain at least a grade of 85 in all subjects to be able to avail of an academic scholarship next year (I think, I heard, I was told...?)
  • Lastly, there is no removals.

Update: average of 2.00 required for partial academic scholarship, no grade below 2.5


Book: Understanding Depression

6.05.2014
To be honest, unlike some of my peers, I no longer have the time er, I no longer make time to read fiction books. I hear of authors like Neil Gaiman, Chuck Palahniuk (whose surname I had to google to make sure I type it right but whose Diary I would always look for in bookstores I randomly visit) who I hear, write really good stories but I just cannot make the time to read their creations. I do try to skim through the works of Paolo Coelho (because his The Alchemist greatly influence my life) and Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers (which I have not finished yet as of this writing). However, I really cannot make time to read other fiction novels because ever since I became a nurse and obtained my masters degree in public health, I constantly feel the need to read medical or public health books and journals, which, frankly, I rarely do! But personally, I feel rather less guilty not reading any book for that matter than spending time on a non-medical book. I hope that made sense.

Nonetheless, I feel and I am quite behind my colleagues who are participating in public health discourse. For the past years, I have been into research, but not necessarily epidemiological research which is my dream and the reason why studied my masters for. But nothing is too late. Today, is not too late. That is why, upon our regular visit to Bookay-Ukay in Mahusay St., Quezon City, a bookstore that sells second hand books, aside from the biographyDiana , a book I bought for my mother who is a fan of the late princess, I purchased myself Understanding Depression: A Complete Guide to Its Diagnosis and Treatment which , as the title implies, is a guide in recognizing, understanding, and treating (biological) depression. The book I found was its first edition (1993). The second and more updated was published in 2005.


Depression is a concern that is close to my heart for personal and professional reasons. That is why when I saw this book, I bought it right away.

Here is a content (quote) from the book which I would like to share on this post:

Russell Hamptons, a psychologist who detailed his personal, emotional breakdown and his triumph over it on his autobiography, The Far Side of Despair (1975) wrote:

"If there were a physical disease that manifested itself in some particular ugly way, such as pustulating sores or a sloughing off of flesh accompanied by pain of an instense and chronic nature, readily visible to everyone, and if that disease affected fifteen million people in our country, and further, if there were virtually no help or succor for most of these persons, and they were forced to walk among us in their obvious agony, we would rise up as one social body in sympathy and anger. We would give of our resources, both human and economic, and we would plead and demand that this suffering be eased. There isn't such a physical disease, but there is such a disease of the mind, and about fifteen million people around us are suffering from it. But we have not risen in anger and sympathy, although they are walking among us and crying in their pain and anguish."


Mental health is not a priority concern in most asian countries including the Philippines (Meshvara, 2002). For one, the distribution of manpower in mental health care remains unequal. More than half of the mental health care specialists work in for-profit organizations (WHO, 2007). As of 2007, only four non-governmental organizations provide a system of support for both individuals with mental care needs and their families. Research on mental health in the country is also scant, with most of them focused on non-epidemiological assessments published in non-indexed journals thereby challenging their scientific quality. Studies utilizing data from the health government are few if not totally absent (WHO, 2007).

I bought this book because I have always had this belief, largely because of my educational background, that despite the situation of the mental health care system in the country, and even in other countries, people with depression can properly cope and be helped in dealing with the struggle caused by this condition. There are so many people out there who are (living) proof (e.g. J.K. Rowling) that depression is something that can be understood and treated despite certain circumstances. And I am not meaning to romanticize.

People who are battling depression and those who surround them and serve as their support system can properly and effectively deal with and treat depression. When we become aware and properly about this depression, we can certainly cope and treat this biological disease.



No Bake Peanut Butter Cheesake!

5.20.2014

Ingredients:
Crust:
1-1/4 cups of Ground Graham Crackers
6 Tbsp of Unsalted Butter, at room temperature
1/4 cup of Peanuts
1/4 cup of Granulated Sugar

For the Filling:
2 8oz Blocks of Cream Cheese, softened at room temperature
1 cup of Confectioner Sugar
1-1/2 cups of Smooth Peanut Butter
1/2 tsp of Vanilla Extract
1/4 cup of Heavy Cream

For the Topping:
1/3 cup of Heavy Cream
4 oz of Semisweet Chocolate Chips
1 tsp of Butter, softened at room temperature




Hayayayay

5.05.2014


The price of....

What happened early this afternoon at the EENT Specialist's clinic was like a scene straight from the movie. 

Doctor: 'Wag mo tatamaan 'yan (tenga), kapag pumutok 'yan bubutasan na 'yan diyan na lalabas ang sipon mo. 
(Make sure not to get your ear hit, if it [infected area-eustachian tube] bursts, we'll have to make an incision and your nasal secretions will now be discharged from your ear.)

Me, looking at my boyfriend: (kadiri/yuck look) wahahahahahaha 

Doctor: ay hindi nakakatawa 'yan mangyayari talaga 'yan. (That's not funny, it will really happen.)

Me: (silence). 

Ffffffffffff. 


My supposed to be fun trip to Boracay left me with a remembrance, a middle ear infection that may or may not have to be treated with minor surgery. :( To my ear, please respond positively to medications. 

Love, 
Your amo.


Worries and Fears

4.25.2014
I plan on getting back to improving my watercolor painting skills. I haven't created any real art except for a few cards here and there, and illustrations that were used in a website.

But this post really isn't about drawing or illustrating. Nag-segue lang ako kasi I made the drawing specifically for this post. As mentioned in my first blog entry, I am only a bit happy after enrolling to medical school. This is mainly because I have so many worries and fears - some are imagined by my pessimistic self while most I can say, are actually  factual. Well, for future reference, I made a list of my worries, and um, fears in NO PARTICULAR order:

1. My first BIG and most likely, ONLY REAL worry.

Unfortunately, I can't share this specific worry. This is something very personal and involves not just myself. To give you a little idea, this is the only reason why I was disturbingly hesitant and up to a certain point became against pursuing medicine.

2. Worry of failing a subject.

This is a worry not a fear, because frankly, I am not afraid of failure. I have failed so many times in my life, not school subjects but in a few life and career objectives and have learned to accept them and definitely rise above them. How cliche.
I am sure you have heard of students failing in medical schools, taking removals. I am not sure what removals are but I surmise they are retakes of an exam or second chance to pass. I sure do hope I would  not have to go through a removal to know what it is.
I worry that I might fail a subject and feel the similar anxiety as taking the battery exam or going through a revalida in college. I worry that this may taint my "no failing grades".....standing?
The ironic thing is, and allow me to include this, I am actually excited about the idea of having to worry about failing a subject. If anything, a challenge is something that fuels my everyday life. Well, only challenges that I can overcome........

3. Fear of losing the rewards I should have been reaping when working instead.

I fear that, instead of being able to begin saving for my future, I am here once again, throwing away five or six or more than these number of years away! This definitely is a huge fear of mine, and one that does not go away. Doctors I know say the same thing to me, studying medicine entails a lot of sacrifices: money, time, effort, and so much more that it will take a while to see and experience the rewards, the fruits of the many labour. But they say it is all worth it. Is it?

4. Fear of losing time, for myself and my loved ones.

I am family-oriented and I love being with my family. I love being with the people I love. I fear that I may not be able to see them as often as I would want to. Even right now, since I am no longer living with them, we only get to see each other once or twice a week. And it is really sad! :'( I blame my zodiac sign. Cancer people tend to be domestic and maternal. Nothing provides great comfort than family and home. I greatly fear that I may not be able to enjoy the rewards of all the sacrifices with the people most important to me. Time spent with the people you love, I strongly and personally feel, is the most significant thing in life. I also fear that I may not be able to do things that make me happy such as illustrating. But chiefly, it's more about losing time for my loved ones.


The list of my worries and fears ends here. I am sure I still have a lot but this will do for now. The list may pile up as the first day of classes approaches, I am sure! Well, I still have a month.




First post.

4.23.2014



Today I finally enrolled in the College of Medicine in one of the top performing medical schools in the country.

I also had my scholarship application interview today. Though I felt nervous at first, it was not as distressing as the application interview required for college of medicine admission. They merely asked personal questions, about your family mainly. The honesty I displayed during the interview made me worry that I might have said something wrong or just anything in general that would cut my chances of obtaining a partial scholarship. Yes, I am only eligible for a 50% tuition fee and laboratory fee discount because my NMAT grade did not make it to the cut off grade for full scholarship. But hey, a discount is a discount especially when the fee is over a hundred thousand pesos, right?

This does not mean, however, that I have already been awarded the scholarship. Though the interviewer stated that, "more or less" I would be given the scholarship, and it only "needs to be formalized" through documents, the official list of scholarship recipients will still be released next month. I am certainy hoping for the best.

I think this is about it, for now.  Am I happy? Well....I can say I am 20% happy. As to why, I think that deserves another post. Perhaps in the coming days.

Surely, I am not excited of going back to sitting in a class listening to a teacher. If only I can work while studying as I did in the past years.